Joke: C++ Classes!!!!!!!!

class Indian_husband_wife_software_professional
{
double income;
short temper;
long time_no_see;
float new_software_company;
void lov
};

Great Ad Concept

Great Ad Concept

Awesome advice

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together tovisit their old university lecturer. Conversation soon turned intocomplaints about stress in work and life.
Offering his guests coffee, the lecturer went to the kitchen andreturned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups:porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive andexquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee. When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the lecturer said:“If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up,leaving behind the plain and cheap ones.While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves,that is the source of your problems and stress.What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but youconsciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other’s cups.”“Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in societyare the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but thequality of Life doesn’t change.Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffeein it.”
So folks, don’t let the cups drive you…enjoy the coffee instead.

Imagine, if Saturday is a working day

Imagine, if Saturday is a working day


Oho, Saturday is working day :(

Luck does matter

Luck does matter

Ironical…but so true………।

With a pile of 300 résumés on his desk and a need to pick someone quickly, my boss told me to make calls on the bottom 50 and toss the rest.
"Throw away 250 résumés?" I asked, shocked.
"What if the best candidates are in there?"
"You have a point," he said। "But then again, I don’t need people with bad luck here."

- Becky Horowitz(Reader’s digest)

Gone are the days

When
The school reopened in June,
And we settled in our new desks and
benches!

When we queued up in book depot,
And got our new books and notes!
When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays ,
Yet managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.

We learnt writing with slates and pencils, and
Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips!
When we began drawing with crayons and evolved to
Color pencils and finally sketch pens!

When we started calculating
first with tables and then with
Clarke’s tables and advanced to
Calculators and computers!

When we chased one another in the
corridors in Intervals , and returned to the classrooms
Drenched in sweat!
When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,
Playgrounds,
under the trees and even in cycle sheds!

When all the colors in the world ,
Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays!
When a single P.T. period in the week’s Time Table,
Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons!

When cricket was played with writing pads as bats ,
And Neckties and socks rolled into balls!
When few played
"kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching sun,
While others simply played
"book cricket" in the
Confines of classroom!

Of fights but no conspiracies,
Of Competitions but seldom jealousy!
When we used to
watch Live Cricket telecast,
In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks!

When few rushed at 3:45 to
"Conquer" window seats in our School bus!
While few others had "Big Fun", "peppermint" ,
"kulfi", " milk ice !" and "sharbat !" at 4o Clock!

Gone are the days
Of Sports Day,
and the annual School Day ,
And the one-month long
preparations for them.

Gone are the days
Of the stressful Quarterly,
Half Yearly and Annual Exams , And the most
enjoyed holidays after them!

Gone are the days
Of tenth and twelfth standards, when
We Spent almost the whole year writing revision tests!
We learnt,
We enjoyed ,
We played,
We won,
We lost,
We laughed,
We cried,
We fought,
We thought.
With so much fun in them, so many friends,
So much experience, all this and more!

Gone are the days
When we used
to talk for hours with our friends!
Now we don’t have time to say a ‘Hi’!

Gone are the days
When we played games on the road!
Now we
Code on the road with laptop!

Gone are the days
When we saw stars
Shining at Night!
Now we see stars when our code doesn’t
Work!

Gone are the days
When we sat to chat with Friends on grounds!
Now we chat in chat rooms…..!

Gone are the days
Where we
studied just to pass!
Now we study to save our job!

Gone are the days
Where we had no money in our pockets and still fun filled on our hearts!!
Now we have the atm as well as credit card but with an empty heart !!

Gone are the days
Where we shouted on the road!
Now we don’t shout even at home

Gone are the days
Where we got lectures from all!
Now we give lectures to all… like the one I’m doing now….!!

Gone are the days
But not the memories, which will be
Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and
Ever and ever and ever …..

Gone are the Days…. But still there are lot more Days to come in our Life!!
NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE ,
DONT FORGET TO
LIVE LIFE KING SIZE…

Thanks a lot to "Shivani Mittal" for sending this poem.

Time To Laugh - Ads on a matrimony site

These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spell errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart
*******************************************************
Hello To Viewvers My Name is Somesha , I am single i dont haveFamale, If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home। I amnot a good education but i working all field in bangalroe॥ if u like me u welcome to my heart… when ever u whant to meet pls viset myresident or send u letter.. Thanks yours Regards Somesha ~*~

i want very simple girl। from brahmin educated family from orissastate he is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework(Homework????)

Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever। Shemay never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which theentire life can run smoothly. thank you (The principle of ru! nning life smoothly was never so easy!)

She should be good looking and should have a service। She Shoulsd haveone brother and one sister. She should be educated. (ain’t it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !)

I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person। Enjoys every moments of life. Ilove to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamgirl who will love me more than i. Because ilove myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on……॥ hold my hand forever !!!(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

i am simple boy।I have lot ofproblemin mylife because ofmylucknow iamlooking onegirlshe caremeandloveme lot lot lot(I don’t know why but this is one of my favorites)

My wife should be as ‘Parwati’ as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tulsias in KSBKBT……(Ok I haven’t seen th! ese soaps but I am sure he must be demanding toomuch, ain’t he?)

i want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in housebut while steping out of house she should give recpect to our cast (by not wearing her jeans? ahem…)
HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GUY,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH।I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A GIRL ,THEY ARE 1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.(all of us are loughing)

whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to besomeone bride and she must think of the future life if she is toolikethis she would bde called the lady of the lamp(I am clueless, I feel so lost। Can anyone tell me what this guy wants)

i love my patner i marriage the! patner ok i search my patner and ilove the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok (I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok"। The person issuffering from "Ok-syndrome")

HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T।V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR AND 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK(the "ok syndrome" again)

iam pradip my family histoy my two brother two sister and fater&mother sister complity marred(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married ‘completely’?)

iam very simpel and hanest। i have three sister one brother and parent. i am doing postal sarvice and tailor master my originalresdence at kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.(actually what is this guy doing? Postal service or tailor.??)

my name is farhan and i am unmarried। pleaes you marrige me pleaespleaes pleaes pleaes pl! eaes pleaes pleaes(height of desperation! J )

Iwant one girl who love me or my mother। she love me heartly or shehavea frank she’s skin colour ‘normal’not a black or not a whitey.IThink the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful. but iam not a handsome person or not a good looking. but myMom say that Iam a good person. My father already expired ॥ iam”AEKLAUTA”. THE CHOICE IS YOUR. bye bye.(uttama purushan)

iam kanan। i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.(No comments)

I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR। I DON’T HAVE ANY HABIT. (maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits)

hello i am a good charactarised man। i want to run my life happily.idivorced my first wife.her charactor is not good’. i expect the goodminded and clean habits girl who may be in the same caste or othercaste accepted …(but credit cards not accepted॥???)

my colour is black,but my heart is white।i like social service (Zebra॥???)

i’m looking out for who lives in bombay, girl simple who trust me lotshould be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY।(Now that criterion is a must, isn’t it?)

to be married on jan-2005। working woman perferable (this guy has fixed the marriage date too! But he is yet to find abride. I wish him best luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure he will get one soon.)

i would like a beautyfull girl। and i do not want her any treasure.because girl is the mahalakshmi.(Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers?)

ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which notpaying salary at present.(Any takers again?)

Touching Heart-How many of us would like to go that way?

How many of us would like to go that way…।

ONE BEDROOM FLAT - AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER’S LIFE

Article By an Indian SE who was in US। - A Bitter Reality

As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Software Engineer and joined a company based in USA , the land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA , it was as if a dream had come true.
Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India .
My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.
I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald’s and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.
Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate.
In-laws told me,to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA , after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA .
My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing. After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.
Every year I decide to go to India . But part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn’t get any holidays and thus could not go to India . The next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed away without seeing their grand children.
After couple more years passed away, much to my children’s dislike and my wife’s joy we returned to India to settle down. I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the USA .
My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in India . My 2 children and I returned to USA after promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.
Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in USA . I decided that had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India . I had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality.
Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.
Sometimes I wondered was it worth all this? My father, even after staying in India , had a house to his name and I too have the same nothing more.
I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM .
Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing. This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well at least they remember me.
Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will be performing my last rights, God Bless them. But the question still remains ‘was all this worth it?’
I am still searching for an answer…… ……… ।!!!!

By an Indian SE who was in US.